Trailblazing

Since we’re such good friends, let’s shoot a porno

That was the title of the email.

I’m not kidding. Seriously… it’s a fantastic idea, so hear me out:

That was the first line of the email. Not a bad email to get on a rainy Tuesday afternoon, eh!

I’ve had several emails from people asking if I want to collaborate on projects, to write books, or to discuss the next big idea. But no one’s asked if I want to shoot a porno. But before I do, I need to find out if you would buy it – would ya?!

Of course I’m kidding. And so was my friend who sent me the email… well, kind of. She did want to write/create a picture book about sexual health for peoples with disabilities. According to her I was perfect: I like talking about sex, I have the physical knowledge from my kin degree, and I would be a great male sex object. She had a niche market, she had done her research, she had the facts to back up why it was a good idea, and she had the perfect potential partner.

I’m a curious guy. I’m excited about new opportunities. I’m always interested in discussing new ideas. But do I want to be known as the “sexually objectified book writer for disabled people”?

As much as I like the Yes Man philosophy sometimes you just need to say no. If I’ve learned anything from studying personal branding it’s that you need to know who you want to be and then be consistent with your message. Confusingly, “sexually objectified book writer for disabled people” didn’t come up when I asked myself who I want to be.

Are there opportunities out there that aren’t a good fit for your brand yet you’ve taken before? Although it’s good to have lot’s of opportunities and experience, sometimes you just have to say no.

Sorry friend but I won’t be able to collaborate with you on this idea…

(and when you turn down an opportunity don’t say “but maybe later…” because that’s as bad as telling a girl you’ll call her when you know damn well you won’t. It’s just mean. Man up and stop that)